Tag / self-love

Embracing Your Worth
by Coach Wendy

3 Simple Steps to Silencing Your Inner Critic and Embracing Your Worth

Do you ever feel like you have a little voice in your head constantly telling you that you aren’t good enough? That nagging voice, your inner critic, can make you doubt your abilities, second-guess your decisions, and keep you from taking action toward your dreams.

But what if you could learn to silence that voice and finally start embracing your true worth?

The truth is, you can. You don’t have to live with a constant stream of self-doubt. By using these three simple steps, you can begin to quiet your inner critic and live a life in which you feel truly worthy.

Step 1: Acknowledge, Don’t Argue

When your inner critic starts to speak up, your first instinct might be to argue with it or try to prove it wrong. However, this often gives it more power. Instead, simply acknowledge what it’s saying without judgment.

Think of it like a noisy neighbor—you hear them, but you don’t have to engage in a full-blown argument. Acknowledge the thought by saying to yourself, “I hear you, inner critic. I hear that you’re worried about _________, but I’ve got this.” This simple act of observation creates a healthy distance and reduces the power of the negative thought.

Step 2: Reframe the Narrative

Your inner critic’s story is often based on fear. Your job is to replace that fear-based story with one rooted in truth and self-worth. When a negative thought arises, ask yourself: “What is the truth here?”

For example, if your inner critic says, “You’re not good enough to do that,” you can reframe it. A truthful reframe might be, “I am committed to learning and growing. I have overcome challenges before, and I can do this, too.” This act of reframing changes the conversation from one of fear to one of empowerment.

How to Say No: A Guide for People Pleasers

Step 3: Celebrate Small Wins

You’ve been conditioned to focus on everything that’s not working. It’s time to retrain your brain to see your successes. Make a conscious effort to notice and celebrate every small win, no matter how insignificant it may seem.

Did you stick to your plan? Did you have the courage to speak your mind? Did you start working on a difficult project? Acknowledging these small victories builds momentum and proves to your subconscious that you are capable and worthy of success. Over time, these small celebrations will build a solid foundation of self-worth that your inner critic can no longer shake.

Ready to Find Your Inner GPS?

Silencing your inner critic is a journey, not a destination. These three steps are just the beginning of your path toward embracing your worth. If you’re ready to dive in and get the support you need to create lasting change, I invite you to discover your unique path to peace and clarity.

As a free gift, take The Overwhelmed Woman’s Inner GPS Quiz to get an instant action plan for less stress and more flow.

[Click Here to Take the Free Quiz]

In love & light,

Coach Wendy's signature
by Coach Wendy

Why Self-Care Seems So Impossible 🥵 AND How You Can Change That ✅

Are you someone who is so overwhelmed with work, aging parents and children that you don’t take time for yourself?    Are you screaming YES to me?

This brings up a question that I get all of the time:

1. Why does it seem so impossible at times?

Well first, as women, we have been conditioned by the patriarchy (F that!) to prioritize the needs of others before our own.  We know this is absolute rubbish and we are fighting back – again.

Then we have the pressure we impose on ourselves.  Do you ever notice yourself saying, “I’m fine” or “I’ve got this”.   We think we can add one more thing to our already overloaded plate and then before you know it, your shrimp slips off to the floor.  And you really like shrimp. (Thank you Elaine for that analogy!)

The feeling of it being impossible shows up as a result of:

  • Overcommitment: Taking on too many responsibilities can leave little room for self-care.   (Full plate, shrimp on floor)
  • Guilt: Many of us feel guilty for wanting time for ourselves, believing it’s selfish to step away.  (F that!)
  • Lack of Support: By not saying, “I need help.  Go do _________” it leads to all of these responsibilities piling up on YOU.

So you step out of that scenario and you decide to treat yourself to some aspect of self care.  Only to have this question show up:

2. Why does it seem like when I make a new commitment to self-care, it gets sabotaged?

First, I’m going to let you in on a little secret.  When you decide to prioritize yourself and self-care, it’s common to encounter setbacks. Here are some reasons why your commitment to putting yourself first gets sabotaged:

  • Unexpected Responsibilities: Life is unpredictable, and new obligations are constantly popping up with no warning, pushing self-care to the back burner.
  • Internal Resistance: Sometimes, the desire to care for others can overshadow personal needs, leading to self-sabotage.
  • Plain old Sabotage: When you make a change, those around you see that as a threat.  As a threat, they will do whatever they can (sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally) to go back to the way things used to be so that it is comfortable for them. 

There is good news though!  While the setbacks are real, there are effective strategies to help you reclaim your time and power:

1. Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries with family members. Communicate your needs and the importance of self-care to those you support. This might mean designating specific times for personal activities or saying no to additional commitments that don’t serve your well-being.

2. Prioritize Self-Care

Make self-care non-negotiable. Schedule it into your calendar just like any other important commitment. This could be as simple as taking a daily walk, practicing mindfulness, or doing something that brings you joy.  Do you remember joy?

3. Create a Support Network

Surround yourself with friends, family, or support groups who understand and are in a similar situation. Sharing experiences and resources can lighten the load and provide encouragement.

4. Practice Mindfulness

Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or journaling can help center your thoughts and reduce stress, making it easier to focus on your needs.

➡️ To get started, Download Your FREE 8 Days of Journaling Prompts for Peace of Mind here.⬅️

5. Celebrate Small Wins

Acknowledge and celebrate small victories in your journey toward balance. Whether it’s a successful day of self-care or a moment of relaxation, recognizing these achievements can motivate you to continue prioritizing your well-being.

Here’s the thing.  Finding balance is undeniably challenging, AND it is not impossible. Now that you understand what might get in your way  and begin implementing simple strategies, you canreclaim your time and nurture yourself.

Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.

In love & light,  

P.S.  Share this on to a friend who needs support ➡️🩷 

by Coach Wendy

How to Say No: A Guide for People Pleasers

Do you find that it is easy to prioritize everyone else’s needs over your own? And when you do, do you notice that it leaves you feeling drained and guilty? When is the last time you thought about taking time for yourself? If any of this sounds familiar, chances are you might be a people-pleaser. Not to worry; you’re not alone! And, you can turn things around and lean into taking care of yourself. In this article, we will explore people pleasing and discover how to embrace self-care without feeling guilty. Ready? Let’s go!

The Problem: The Burden of People-Pleasing

People-pleasing is something many of us do, often without even realizing it. We want to make others happy, and that’s a beautiful intention! But when it starts to take a toll on your own happiness, it’s time to take a step back. Here are a few signs you might be a people pleaser:

  • Always Saying Yes: Even when your plate is full, or when you are sick or exhausted you find it hard to say no.
  • Feeling Responsible for Others’ Happiness: You believe it’s your job to make everyone around you feel good.
  • Neglecting Your Own Needs: Your own desires and health often come last.

Can you identify yourself in any of these signs? While being kind and accommodating is wonderful, this habit can lead to burnout and resentment. When you finally think about putting yourself first, that pesky guilt can creep in, making you worry about how others will react.

The Guilt Trap

Feeling guilty about wanting to take care of yourself is very common, especially among people pleasers. This guilt might show up in a couple of different ways:

  • Fear of Disapproval: You might worry that others will judge you for putting yourself first.
  • Internal Conflict: You feel torn between your needs and what others expect from you.
  • Self-Criticism: You might tell yourself you’re being selfish for even considering taking care of your needs.

What ways does guilt show up for you? Can you see how this internal tug-of-war can be exhausting?! Ready for some good news? Prioritizing your well-being is not only okay; it’s essential!

The Importance of Recognizing People-Pleasing

Let’s first take a look at recognizing the signs that you are a people-pleaser. It’s important to recognize your patterns around people-pleasing so that you can take up space & receive without shame or judgement. Recognizing your patterns around people-pleasing is also vital for your mental and emotional health. It allows you to understand the impact it has on your life and relationships. The downfalls of not changing your behavior can include:

  • Burnout: Constantly catering to others can leave you feeling exhausted and depleted.
  • Resentment: Over time, neglecting your own needs can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment towards those you’ve tried to please.
  • Loss of Identity: Focusing solely on others can make you lose sight of your own desires and passions. Until little by little, piece by piece, you lose yourself.

Are you experiencing any of these symptoms? If you are, deciding to take care of yourself is a significant step toward reclaiming your happiness and well-being. It’s about recognizing that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.

Embracing Self-Care

When you prioritize self-care, it’s important to remember that not everyone will understand or react positively. In fact, they may even try to sabotage your efforts. Some may feel disappointed or confused when you start putting yourself first. But here’s the thing: So what? Their feelings are not your responsibility. You owe no one an explanation for choosing to care for yourself.

Incorporating relaxation tools into your self-care routine can be incredibly beneficial. For instance, using an aromatherapy diffuser can help create a calming atmosphere in your space. This diffuser not only fills your home with soothing scents but also promotes relaxation and mindfulness. You can check it out here.

By embracing self-care, you’re not only enhancing your own life but also setting a positive example for those around you. Remember, you train those around you how you wish to be treated. And – when you take care of yourself, you’re better equipped to support others without feeling drained.

Can you see how prioritizing your well-being is essential for living a fulfilling life? Consider this – what is your next best step towards saying yes to yourself?

In love & light,

by Coach Wendy

Are you going a million miles an hour? Here’s how to make space for YOU! 

In today’s fast-paced world, it often feels like we’re racing against the clock. With endless to-do lists, work commitments, social obligations, and the constant buzz of notifications, it’s easy to forget about the most important person in our lives: ourselves. If you’ve been going a million miles an hour, it might be time to hit the brakes and carve out some much-needed “me time.”

The Importance of Me Time

Taking time for yourself isn’t just a luxury; it’s a necessity. When we neglect our own needs, stress can accumulate, leading to burnout and fatigue. Making space for relaxation allows us to recharge, refocus, and reconnect with ourselves. It’s essential for our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

Creating A Relaxation Ritual

Finding time to relax doesn’t have to be complicated. Today, I’m going to share with you one simple way to guarantee that you enjoy relaxation in your day.

Ready?

Commit to doing one ritual a day – and do it badly. In other words, it does not have to be perfect. Just do it.

I’ll use myself as an example. I first learned of these two items from a client of mine who has gorgeous skin and zero wrinkles at 60!

I asked her secret and she said she used these two items daily: A face roller and a gua sha.

I’d seen face rollers but had no idea what a gua sha was. So I did some research, found a set in rose quartz and ordered. I found this set below on Amazon and you can click the link here if you are interested. (As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a small commission if you use my links. This comes at no extra cost to you and I so appreciate you.)

I had to watch a YouTube video to figure out how to use them. When I used them for the first time, I noticed that I felt calm and loved.

Then I got busy and this ritual fell by the wayside. Can you relate? Has that ever happened to you?

I noticed that I was giving myself grief for not using my face roller or gua sha. What good was that doing me? None whatsoever.

So I decided to give myself grace and just jump in and do it. If I just use the roller, great. If I use both the roller and the gua sha, that is awesome. I let go of my idea of having to do it perfectly.

If I don’t do all of the ‘rolls’ that the YouTube video I watched walks you through, that’s perfectly fine.

Embracing Relaxation Tools

What type of self-care rituals would you like to indulge in? Get curious about this.

Shifting Toward Calm

I noticed something when I used my face roller and gua sha. It gave me a sense of calm. Could it be the rose quartz? Possibly. Could it be that I allowed myself to slow down? It is very possible.

What do you think you might notice when you slow down?

You Are Deserving & Worthy

Life can be overwhelming, but taking time for yourself is essential for maintaining balance. Remember, you deserve it! So go ahead, slow down, and embrace the beauty of “me time.”

Let me know in the comments, what self-care ritual or tool will you indulge in?

In love & light,