Tag / Relationships

Faith oracle card
by Coach Wendy

You Are Worthy, Mama Bear: Breaking Free from the Pinball Machine Called Life

If the title caught your eye and you find yourself nodding along, you’ve probably uttered these words to yourself more times than you can count: “Why does this seem so impossible at times?” or “It’s never going to effing slow down!” Do you feel like you’re going a million miles an hour, feeling like a ball in a pinball machine, and even when you commit to self-care, it just seems to get sabotaged?

Does this sound familiar? The pressure of work, managing kids, and supporting aging parents can feel like a relentless tide. You might desperately want to stop eating when you’re full or make that smart choice to go to bed, but you stay up just for a few moments of peace, paying for it the next day. You know exercise makes you feel better, yet it’s the first thing to go when life gets hectic. Do you feel like you’re terrified of stopping because you feel like if you did, you’d never get back up? Can you see how this leads to genuine burnout, tears, and a rattled feeling?

You’re constantly pouring into others, juggling expectations, and often internalizing other people’s stress, anxiety, and frustration. It feels like the world just takes and takes, and rarely gives back. You might even find yourself saying, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” or battling the thought, “If I bring someone in to help, I have failed.”

But here’s a truth: You are worthy.  What if you could unlock a deep state of worthiness so that you can call in and experience the miracles you deserve?

I pulled this card today during my daily practice and it is in alignment with this message, wouldn’t you say?

……’Prayer has the power to move mountains, so accept what is rightfully yours’

Imagine a life that looks like liberation. Picture being able to take up space without shame or judgment and not worrying about looking selfish. Can you envision shifting toward calm and consistently protecting your peace? What if you could feel more like you’re in the driver’s seat and less like that pinball, making space for you for real relaxation, exercise, or connecting with friends and family?

Why Self-Care Seems So Impossible 🥵 AND How You Can Change That âœ…

“Faith will help you to unlock a state of worthiness so that you can call in and experience the miracles you deserve”

This isn’t just a dream. This is about making what you know are the best choices with ease, having systems in place that help you have a clear mind and a manageable schedule. It’s about recognizing your importance, respecting yourself enough to stand up for yourself, and valuing yourself above the chaos.

Are you ready to move from feeling like a ball in a pinball machine to being in the driver’s seat of your own life? How will it feel to finally claim the peace, time, and space you’re worthy of? Here are a few ways we can begin:

  1. Discover Your Path: Take my free “The Overwhelmed Woman’s Inner GPS” quiz to pinpoint what’s truly draining your energy and chart your unique roadmap to peace. [Take The Quiz Here: https://coach-wendy.com/peace]

You deserve to protect your peace.

In love & light,

Coach Wendy's signature

by Coach Wendy

How to Say No: A Guide for People Pleasers

Do you find that it is easy to prioritize everyone else’s needs over your own? And when you do, do you notice that it leaves you feeling drained and guilty? When is the last time you thought about taking time for yourself? If any of this sounds familiar, chances are you might be a people-pleaser. Not to worry; you’re not alone! And, you can turn things around and lean into taking care of yourself. In this article, we will explore people pleasing and discover how to embrace self-care without feeling guilty. Ready? Let’s go!

The Problem: The Burden of People-Pleasing

People-pleasing is something many of us do, often without even realizing it. We want to make others happy, and that’s a beautiful intention! But when it starts to take a toll on your own happiness, it’s time to take a step back. Here are a few signs you might be a people pleaser:

  • Always Saying Yes: Even when your plate is full, or when you are sick or exhausted you find it hard to say no.
  • Feeling Responsible for Others’ Happiness: You believe it’s your job to make everyone around you feel good.
  • Neglecting Your Own Needs: Your own desires and health often come last.

Can you identify yourself in any of these signs? While being kind and accommodating is wonderful, this habit can lead to burnout and resentment. When you finally think about putting yourself first, that pesky guilt can creep in, making you worry about how others will react.

The Guilt Trap

Feeling guilty about wanting to take care of yourself is very common, especially among people pleasers. This guilt might show up in a couple of different ways:

  • Fear of Disapproval: You might worry that others will judge you for putting yourself first.
  • Internal Conflict: You feel torn between your needs and what others expect from you.
  • Self-Criticism: You might tell yourself you’re being selfish for even considering taking care of your needs.

What ways does guilt show up for you? Can you see how this internal tug-of-war can be exhausting?! Ready for some good news? Prioritizing your well-being is not only okay; it’s essential!

The Importance of Recognizing People-Pleasing

Let’s first take a look at recognizing the signs that you are a people-pleaser. It’s important to recognize your patterns around people-pleasing so that you can take up space & receive without shame or judgement. Recognizing your patterns around people-pleasing is also vital for your mental and emotional health. It allows you to understand the impact it has on your life and relationships. The downfalls of not changing your behavior can include:

  • Burnout: Constantly catering to others can leave you feeling exhausted and depleted.
  • Resentment: Over time, neglecting your own needs can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment towards those you’ve tried to please.
  • Loss of Identity: Focusing solely on others can make you lose sight of your own desires and passions. Until little by little, piece by piece, you lose yourself.

Are you experiencing any of these symptoms? If you are, deciding to take care of yourself is a significant step toward reclaiming your happiness and well-being. It’s about recognizing that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.

Embracing Self-Care

When you prioritize self-care, it’s important to remember that not everyone will understand or react positively. In fact, they may even try to sabotage your efforts. Some may feel disappointed or confused when you start putting yourself first. But here’s the thing: So what? Their feelings are not your responsibility. You owe no one an explanation for choosing to care for yourself.

Incorporating relaxation tools into your self-care routine can be incredibly beneficial. For instance, using an aromatherapy diffuser can help create a calming atmosphere in your space. This diffuser not only fills your home with soothing scents but also promotes relaxation and mindfulness. You can check it out here.

By embracing self-care, you’re not only enhancing your own life but also setting a positive example for those around you. Remember, you train those around you how you wish to be treated. And – when you take care of yourself, you’re better equipped to support others without feeling drained.

Can you see how prioritizing your well-being is essential for living a fulfilling life? Consider this – what is your next best step towards saying yes to yourself?

In love & light,

by Coach Wendy

Find Freedom: Strategies for Work-Life Balance

As a busy professional juggling the demands of work, family, and personal responsibilities, it can feel like you’re constantly being pulled in a million different directions. Can you relate? The number one challenge I see my clients facing is the struggle to manage the expectations of others while also honoring their own needs.

On one hand, you may find yourself constantly trying to meet the needs and requests of those around you – whether it’s your boss, your spouse, your aging parents, or your children. You want to be helpful, caring, and accommodating. But at the same time, you find yourself resenting the lack of reciprocation. “If I treat others the way I want to be treated, why don’t they do the same for me?” you wonder.

This leads to a vicious cycle of resentment, burnout, and a desire to withdraw completely. You start staying up late, or overindulge in retail therapy or food – anything to numb the frustration and reclaim a sense of autonomy, even if just for a moment.

The gap between this reality and your deepest desires is stark. What you truly crave is the freedom to reclaim your time and energy for your own self-care. You want to be able to take space without shame or judgment, to put your needs first without worrying about looking “selfish.” You envision a life of greater balance, where you can tend to your physical and mental health, nurture your passions and relationships, and feel truly in the driver’s seat of your own life.

This is where a skilled coach (like meeeee!) can make all the difference. By providing an empathetic, non-judgmental sounding board, a coach can help you unpack the root causes of your struggle to set boundaries and manage expectations. Together, you can develop strategies to communicate your needs more effectively, let go of the need to control others, and create systems and routines that support your overall well-being.

With the right guidance and support, the path to reclaiming your autonomy and finding greater work-life balance becomes clearer. Small steps like establishing a calming nighttime routine, practicing daily gratitude, or carving out dedicated “me time” can snowball into profound, lasting change. You’ll start to feel more grounded, more resilient, and more in command of your own life – no longer a ball in a pinball machine, but the architect of your own destiny.

And don’t just take my word for it. See what my client Jennifer has to say about her experience of working with a coach:

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to click here and schedule your Guided Discovery Session so that together we can explore how coaching can help you bridge the gap between the challenges you’re facing and the life you truly desire. It’s time to protect your peace, honor your needs, and step into the driver’s seat of your own life.

In love & light,

by Coach Wendy

Feeling Overwhelmed as a Sandwich Generation Caregiver? 4 Key Ways to Manage Expectations of Others!

Today, I want to address a significant pain point for many women in the sandwich generation: managing expectations of others.

Recently, I received an email from a woman who posed this question: Is it fair to expect to be treated the way I treat others?

As someone who balances caring for kids and aging loved ones, this woman pours her time, energy, and support into those she cares about because she genuinely cares. Yet, she often feels like the world just takes and takes without giving anything back. Can you relate?

She also questioned, If I ask for something—whether it’s help, understanding, or just a little kindness—do I have a right to feel upset if that request is ignored?

It’s completely natural to feel that way. We all want our needs acknowledged.

Her next concern was, Should I stop giving to those who don’t reciprocate what I give? On one hand, she wants to be generous and kind—that’s part of her identity. On the other hand, it feels draining when her efforts go unnoticed or unappreciated. Does this sound familiar?

She expressed a desire to remain true to herself but also doesn’t want to feel taken advantage of. So, how do we find that balance?

Here are a few strategies to consider:

  1. Communicate Clearly: If you have a need, express it. Sometimes people don’t realize what we want or need until we say it. We teach others how we wish to be treated—and sometimes we need to retrain them.
  2. Set Healthy Boundaries: It’s okay to protect your energy. If someone consistently takes but never gives, it might be time to reassess that relationship.
  3. Practice Self-Compassion: It’s okay to feel upset. Acknowledge your feelings and give yourself grace.
  4. Focus on What You Can Control: You can’t change others, but you can change how you respond.

I believe in kindness and generosity, but it’s equally essential to take care of ourselves, especially as caregivers. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, know that you’re not alone.

To help you navigate these challenges, I’ve created a journal filled with prompts for peace of mind. If you’d like to explore these topics further and find some clarity, visit coach-wendy.com/journal to download your copy!

Thank you for reading! How do you manage your expectations of others? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Take care, and see you in the next post!

In love & light,

by Coach Wendy

Keep an Eye out Next Time You Visit Your Aging Parent

Since the holidays, have you been thinking and wondering about your aging parent?

Did you notice something that is bothering you? Like the unwashed dishes in the sink. Or maybe how your parent is just a little more withdrawn and quiet than they used to be.

There are a few signs to look out for when you visit your aging parent, 10 to be exact, and I’ve attached a PDF that covers them all right here. 10 Signs to Know When It’s Time to Care for Your Aging Parent.

Maybe you aren’t wondering at all and you know for a fact that your parent needs assistance. What do you do next?

It all begins with a conversation. With your parent(s), if possible. And you can also include their friends and neighbors – asking them what they’ve noticed. It can also include your family.

You can start the difficult conversation out by saying something like, “I have something that I’d like to talk with you about …….. can we talk?” If that person says yes, then you can say: 

I feel (say what you are feeling)

I need (say what you need)

Then ask them – what do you need. And get quiet. Listen.

Give it a try and let us know in the comments how it goes!

🩷Coach Wendy

#Caregiver #AgingHealth #Relationships