Tag / #AgingParents

by Coach Wendy

What Jennifer Learned When She Burned Out

It was the summer of 2023, and Jennifer was a nervous wreck. Her mother’s health had been deteriorating for years, but she stubbornly refused to take it seriously. Jennifer would constantly nag her to see a doctor, eat better, and take care of herself, but her mother would just brush her off.

Watching her mother’s health decline was taking a massive toll on Jennifer’s own mental and emotional well-being. She was constantly worried, anxious, and stressed, trying to find ways to get her mother to take better care of herself. It felt like Jennifer was fighting a losing battle, and the weight of it all was crushing her.

As her daughter, Jennifer felt a deep sense of responsibility to help her mother, but she wasn’t making it easy. Her mother would get defensive whenever Jennifer brought it up, and it often led to arguments and strained their relationship. Jennifer felt powerless, frustrated, and resentful that her mother wasn’t taking her health more seriously. The harsh reality hit her: “If you don’t deal with your mother, your mother will deal with you.”

It wasn’t until Jennifer experienced burnout that she realized she needed to take a different approach. She had to learn to let go of the control and focus on her own well-being first. Jennifer sought out help, which lead her to me. Through my coaching, Jennifer was able to develop coping strategies and set healthier boundaries with her mother.

Jennifer also realized that she couldn’t force her mother to change; her mother had to make that decision for herself. So, instead of nagging and lecturing, Jennifer started having open and honest conversations with her. She expressed her concerns, and also detached herself from the outcome.

Gradually, Jennifer noticed that she wasn’t ruminating about her mother and the bad decisions she was making.

Can you see the difference it may make for you to take care of yourself first? Can you see how your life would be different if you were to seek out the support you need, set boundaries, and have open and empathetic conversations? You can’t control their actions, but you can control how you respond to them.

Share this to someone who needs to hear this today.

In love & light,

P.S. Are you ready to release the guilt? Click here to download your FREE Download of Journaling Prompts for Peace of Mind

by Coach Wendy

3 Strategies for Women in the Sandwich Generation to Thrive

As a woman in the sandwich generation, I know firsthand the challenges of balancing the needs of aging loved ones with my own personal and professional responsibilities. It can feel like a never-ending juggling act, leaving us exhausted and overwhelmed. But what if I told you that with the right mindset and strategies, you can bridge the gap from struggling to thriving?

One of the most common obstacles we face is the belief that “if I bring someone in to help, I have failed my loved one.” This sentiment is rooted in our deep desire to be the sole caregiver, but it can also lead to burnout, physical and emotional exhaustion. I remember feeling this way when my mother was diagnosed with dementia. I was determined to be the one to care for her, even though it was slowly consuming me. It wasn’t until I finally reached out for help that I realized asking for assistance was not a sign of failure, but an act of self-care that benefited both my mother and myself.

The path to a thriving life begins with building a team of support and utilizing available resources. By delegating tasks and responsibilities, we can alleviate the burden and find more time and energy to focus on our own health and personal goals.

Here are three easy tips to help you transition from struggling to thriving:

Prioritize Self-Care

After years of putting my own needs last, I finally made the decision to incorporate holistic practices like mindfulness, and guided meditations into my daily routine. The transformation was remarkable – I found myself feeling calmer, more present, and better able to savor the precious moments with my mother. By making self-care a priority, I was able to approach my caregiving responsibilities with more patience, empathy, and joy.

Develop a Clear Strategy

With the support of a caring coach, I was able to create a detailed plan that balanced my caregiving duties with my personal and professional commitments. This helped me feel more in control and less overwhelmed by the constant demands on my time and energy. By setting clear boundaries and expectations, I was able to be more intentional about how I spent my days, ensuring I had the time and space to recharge and pursue my own interests.

Build a Supportive Network

Surrounding myself with a network of family, friends, and professional resources has been a game-changer. Whether it’s a trusted friend who lends a listening ear or a medical professional who helps with my mother’s care, I’ve learned to lean on this network when I need a helping hand. The emotional, practical, and logistical support I’ve received has been invaluable in helping me maintain a sense of balance and well-being.

By implementing these strategies, I’ve been able to reclaim a sense of control and find the peace of mind I so desperately sought. The journey from challenges to a thriving life is not an easy one, but it is a transformative process that has led me to a more joyful and purposeful existence.

Click here to Embrace Your Worthiness with the Self-Care Sanctuary Journal.

Peace of mind 🌺 Let go of worry 🌺 Care for yourself

Click here to get your [FREE DOWNLOAD] of 30 days of Journaling Prompts for Peace of Mind so that you can embrace your worthiness and release all guilt, let go of worry, find balance, be present and live each day with gratitude and purpose knowing that you are worthy, you are enough and choose to thrive.

In love & light,

by Coach Wendy

Whish of these triggers a stronger sense of guilt for you?

I’ve been noticing something ……….

Within the Confident Caregiver Connection, members typically fall into two categories: those experiencing guilt and stress due to feeling restricted in their ability to assist their parents, and those grappling with guilt and stress stemming from the overwhelming demands placed on them by their parents.

I’ve noticed that some of you have been exerting a considerable amount of effort to offer increased care and support to your aging parent, yet you encounter challenges in getting them to acknowledge your assistance or embrace the necessary changes you believe are essential.

On the other hand, I’ve also noticed that others among you have been providing assistance for some time now. However, recently, you may find yourself contemplating how to sustain your efforts or perhaps even considering how to step back to reclaim aspects of your own life.

Either way you slice it, it proves challenging to discover a solution that satisfies all parties involved. Ultimately, the aim is to avoid causing distress or disappointment to your parents.

Regardless of whether you’ve been striving to increase your involvement or contemplating stepping back, experiencing feelings of guilt is a common occurrence. Many individuals often grapple with the belief that they are not meeting expectations as a son or daughter in their caregiving role.

Out of these two, which do you most identify with?

If you find yourself burdened by guilt due to difficulties in persuading your parent to embrace the assistance they require, rest assured that the process does not have to be as arduous as it may seem.

Upon gaining a deeper understanding of the essential actions and effective strategies, the process can become more manageable, leading to improvements in your relationship. You will discover the capacity to prioritize tasks that truly benefit your parent, reducing both the time invested and emotional strain experienced.

Within the membership, I will provide guidance on how to persevere and encourage your parent to implement essential changes. Additionally, I will assist you in identifying aspects that are within your control and those that are not. Through this process, you will cultivate the ability to release control over certain elements and concentrate on areas where your support can truly make a difference, even in situations where your parent has historically resisted assistance and proposed solutions.

If you are experiencing guilt due to the necessity of reducing your level of involvement, I want to convey a message to you as well. It is important to recognize that, although this may be unfamiliar territory, it is perfectly acceptable to prioritize your own needs over those of your aging parent.

This decision does not indicate failure or inadequacy in your caregiving efforts. It also does not signify an inability to continue playing a significant role in supporting them along their path.

In reality, understanding the moment to step back and prioritize self-care is crucial for maintaining the energy required to be present in the most meaningful ways: overseeing their care and well-being, and being prepared to step in when the next challenge arises.

Above all, it is essential to approach your relationship with your parent with increased compassion and empathy, continuing to accompany them on their journey, even if it may not align precisely with the path they envisioned for you.

If your parent has relied heavily on you and you are experiencing the pressure, you could be approaching a burnout point. It is crucial not to compromise your health, financial stability, or other obligations while assisting your aging parent.

Within the membership, I will guide you on establishing realistic boundaries, reevaluating your commitments, and setting necessary limits, empowering you to step back when necessary while continuing to support your aging parent.

This journey is one for which you were never fully equipped, lacking a clear roadmap for navigation. Struggling to navigate it independently may have proven more challenging than necessary, yet every step taken thus far has led you to the realization that you require more tailored guidance to progress effectively.

My aim is to assist you in leveraging all the knowledge you have accumulated, including the challenges you have faced, to provide clarity and direction for a well-defined path forward.

At this moment, as you contemplate whether to increase or decrease your level of involvement, you may be experiencing self-doubt. This uncertainty could manifest as questioning your capacity to do more or questioning whether you can effectively scale back while still respecting your aging parent’s needs and providing the necessary support.

You may be experiencing a sense of inadequacy or doubt about your ability to instigate change.

I want to assure you that you possess the necessary qualities to make a positive difference. Your proactive search for improved methods of assistance is evidence of your commitment. I am here to guide you towards a more effective approach, whether that involves taking on a more significant role or scaling back in your parent’s care.

Supporting our parents does not have a one-size-fits-all approach. The key lies in finding the method that aligns with your individual needs and circumstances. This personalized approach is what I assist members in uncovering, as exemplified by J.D., who successfully reframed her role, established boundaries, and released unnecessary guilt. 

‘Wow! I have had many insights. Guess my biggest is I am doing the best I can in every situation with my mom. No regret and trying not to second guess. I have their best interest at heart within what I can do.’

Within the Confident Caregiver Connection Membership, you will receive counsel and direction to define your role and boundaries effectively. Additionally, you will discover a supportive community that is dedicated to assisting you in making these decisions, a level of support that may not be readily available elsewhere.

(Even if your partner, siblings, or friends are unable to engage in further discussions about your parents, our private community is consistently available to offer reassurance and a fresh perspective.)

I have full confidence in your ability to navigate this journey successfully. I am eager to witness you embracing your most assured and capable role as an empowered son or daughter.

This is why I provide a 30-day money-back guarantee and ensure there are no long-term commitments. Your membership remains active only as long as it continues to benefit you, be it through the supportive community or the chance to seek advice from me when faced with future challenges.

So, I extend another invitation to you:

Try the Confident Caregiver Connection Membership

Once you’ve delved into all the resources available, please inform me if my assessment is incorrect. If you do not feel more prepared, capable, and confident in determining what is best for both yourself and your parent, simply reach out to me via email to indicate that the membership is not the right fit for you. Rest assured, I will continue to support and cheer you on regardless of your decision.

Take care and looking forward to welcoming you inside.

🩷Coach Wendy

#CaregiverSupport #AgingParents #GuiltAndStress

by Coach Wendy

What’s next on your journey taking care of your aging parent……

What an incredible week it has been! I enjoyed facilitating a complimentary workshop on supporting resistant aging parents. We had fantastic conversation.

If you’re similar to the majority of our participants, you’ve likely encountered challenges while assisting your aging parents in some capacity.

During the workshop, I discussed essential strategies for dealing with resistance in elderly parents. Feel free to watch the replay to discover my techniques for improving communication and persuasion.

So now what’s the next?

You have the remainder of your journey with your aging parents ahead of you.

Here’s the thing:  None of us can predict precisely what the future holds, the duration of your journey, or the unexpected challenges that may arise. However, it is highly likely that it will be challenging.

This is due in part to the inherent nature of these journeys being, well, an ordeal.

Moreover, many individuals are ill-equipped for this journey and all its complexities.  I certainly was.  And I don’t want the same for you, and I don’t think that you do, either.  Assisting an elderly parent is a unique and unparalleled responsibility unlike any other you may encounter.

There is no straightforward or simple path to follow. The road ahead can take various directions based on how your parent ages, the evolution of their cognition, shifts in their health, the support resources accessible to your family, and, importantly, how well you can navigate discussions and decisions with your parent.

What does this mean for you? You will have to navigate dilemmas and confront difficult decisions repeatedly.

At times, you may have the luxury of time to plan and determine your next course of action. However, there will also be moments when a crisis arises, requiring swift decisions and immediate responses to pressing issues such as “How do we address Dad’s driving?”, “Can Mom continue living at home without round-the-clock care?”, or “Is it necessary to pursue guardianship?”

Moreover, numerous additional challenges are likely to arise along this path.

Many individuals find themselves entangled in family disputes, uncertainty, and remorse over decisions that may not have unfolded as expected. (Yet, how could one foresee the outcome?)

Therefore, rather than directing your efforts towards what is crucial to support your aging parent and maintain your well-being in this significant role, you find yourself depleted of valuable time and energy.

In the meantime, these are the final years you have with your parent. If you are overwhelmed with resolving care issues, that time could pass by swiftly. One day, you may find yourself looking back and realizing you missed the chance to bond, to create a few more lasting memories.

Moreover, it’s essential to consider your well-being. If you don’t manage your responsibilities carefully, you could be susceptible to burnout. Overwhelming stress can hinder your ability to fulfill your role for months or even years, impacting your availability to support your parent and others who rely on you.

So, what’s the next step?

With the understanding of what the future holds, you are now faced with a decision.

You can opt to continue grappling with the challenges as you have been, or you can decide to seek another approach.

If you decide to continue navigating this journey independently, it is unlikely to become any easier than it is presently. In fact, it may become more challenging over time.

Based on my observations of similar journeys, I have noticed that many individuals and families experience unnecessary hardships. During the webinar, I mentioned that I recognized long ago that older adults and their families often face more challenges than necessary due to the lack of access to expert guidance and support.

My aim is to prevent that scenario for both you and your aging parents.

Therefore, I have resolved to streamline and simplify this journey for anyone who expresses the need for assistance.

That is precisely what I aim to achieve with you within our membership program. With our assistance, you can make progress more efficiently and effectively.

With us, you can access solutions more readily and be part of a supportive community that uplifts you and guides you towards progress.

You are already on this journey, and the only way forward is to navigate through it.

You do have a choice in how you navigate through this.

Are you inclined to continue doing things the same way without my assistance, or would you prefer to tackle this together?

Can you see how much smoother this will be when we work on it together?

Within the Confident Caregiver Connection Membership, you gain access to my expertise, coaching, and resources, enabling you to navigate challenges more smoothly.

I will support you as you move forward in assisting your parent, whether it involves locating optimal care, accommodations, or scheduling appointments, empowering you to make informed decisions with reduced stress and uncertainty.

I will stand by you to guide you through the challenging discussions that occupy a significant amount of your focus and lead to numerous regrets.

I will be there to assist you in moving forward when you feel at a loss for what to do next. Trust in us, we are here for you, and remember, you have the capability to overcome this!

Through our guidance and support, you can gain confidence, clarity, and a renewed sense of peace, understanding that you are capable. You are already doing everything necessary for your parent, showing more than enough care in seeking improved ways to provide assistance.

By reclaiming the time and energy that would have been wasted on fruitless endeavors, you free up valuable resources to dedicate to an additional phone call or visit with your parent. Moreover, you can also reserve some of that time for yourself.

If you’d like my support and guidance navigating your journey ahead, then once again, I invite you:

JOIN US INSIDE THE CONFIDENT CAREGIVER CONNECTION MEMBERSHIP

🩷Coach Wendy

#AgingParents #CaregiverSupport #ConfidentCaregiver

by Coach Wendy

How to Help Stubborn Aging Parents

Tomorrow, April 10th at 6 p.m. CST/ 7 p.m. EST/ 4 p.m. PST, I’ll be offering a free live webinar:

How to Help Stubborn Aging Parents

If you’ve been finding it challenging to convince an aging parent to make necessary changes, I invite you to join me.

I will be sharing strategies on how to encourage aging parents to tackle health and safety concerns, even if they have been hesitant or resistant. Additionally, I will be available to address any questions you may have.

I believe you will benefit the most from this workshop by participating live. Moreover, attendees will receive a complimentary PDF guide that will assist in identifying signs of memory and cognitive issues.

If you are unable to attend, I recommend registering anyway to ensure access to the replay and all the valuable insights that I will be sharing during the workshop. I am highly confident that you will find something beneficial to assist you with your aging parents 🙂

Here’s what you’ll learn during this free workshop with me:

✔️ Why aging parents typically oppose “practical” guidance

✔️ One action to take that will assist (and one action to CEASE doing)

✔️ How to determine if genuine concern is warranted regarding their memory or cognition (& steps to take)

✔️ How to break free from feelings of helplessness, guilt, or frustration, and instead empower yourself to enhance your parents’ safety, well-being, and happiness

Simply click the link below to secure your spot by registering before it fills up!

Click here to register for the free webinar:  How to Help Stubborn Aging Parents

Just a reminder, I don’t frequently provide this type of free online training. I wanted to ensure you don’t miss out on this opportunity.

Will I see you there?

🩷Coach Wendy

P.S. There will be a big announcement you won’t want to miss.

#AgingParents

#Support

#StubbornAgingParents

by Coach Wendy

10 Signs to Know When It’s Time to Care for Your Aging Parent

It’s not easy to know when it’s time to begin to take care of your aging parent.  I get that.

Take a look at this chart and if you notice 5 or more signs, I encourage you to reach out for guidance on your next steps.  

I’m here for you and I’ve been walking this journey myself taking care of my 88 year old mother for 12 years now.  

And I’ve helped others just like you to take this journey step by step with my support and arsenal of contacts, resources and referrals for you, all to make your journey easier.

Click here to schedule your Complimentary Consultation so that together we can create your next best steps.

🩷Coach Wendy

by Coach Wendy

Aging Parent Q & A

This is a free online Q&A session.

During this session, myself and a geriatric care manager will answer as many questions about aging parents as we are able to.

If you are unable to join live, a replay will be available afterward.

If you think you MIGHT have to navigate taking care of an aging parent…………

OR you already ARE taking care of an aging parent………..

This is for you.

Join us!

To access the replay, please register by Wednesday, April 3rd.

Click here to register.

Hosted by Coach Wendy, expert at Her Aging Parents, Her Thriving Business http://www.Coach-Wendy.com

by Coach Wendy

How to Have Difficult Conversations with Your Aging Parent

Have you noticed any signs of memory loss, unsteady balance, or unpaid bills with your aging parent? 

It can be challenging to address these issues, but it’s crucial to have these conversations. If you’ve observed anything concerning, it’s important to be proactive and support your aging parent.

If you notice something ‘off’ with your aging parent, here is my advice on how to approach the conversation:

How to Talk to Your Aging Parent about What You Are Noticing

Remember, having these discussions is essential for their well-being. Your support makes a difference.

🩷Coach Wendy 

#AgingParents

#Caregiving

#Support

by Coach Wendy

10 Ways to Prevent Burnout: While you Ensure Your Loved One’s Safety

Caring for an aging parent can be a rewarding yet demanding responsibility. As you focus on ensuring the safety and well-being of your loved one, it’s essential to prioritize your own mental and emotional health to prevent burnout. Here are 10 effective strategies to help you maintain balance and prevent burnout while caring for your aging parent:

  1. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect your personal time and space. Learn to say no to additional responsibilities that may overwhelm you.
  2. Self-Care Routine: Prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, and relaxation techniques to recharge and rejuvenate.
  3. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family members, support groups, or a therapist for emotional support and guidance during challenging times.
  4. Delegate Tasks: Don’t hesitate to delegate tasks or seek assistance from others in caregiving responsibilities to lighten the load and prevent burnout.
  5. Take Breaks: Schedule regular breaks and time for yourself to rest, recharge, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
  6. Maintain Healthy Habits: Focus on maintaining a healthy diet, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly to support your physical and mental well-being.
  7. Practice Mindfulness: Stay present in the moment and practice mindfulness techniques to reduce stress, anxiety, and overwhelm.
  8. Time Management: Prioritize tasks, set realistic goals, and manage your time effectively to avoid feeling overwhelmed by caregiving responsibilities.
  9. Stay Connected: Stay connected with friends, family, and social activities to prevent isolation and maintain a supportive network.
  10. Monitor Your Mental Health: Pay attention to your mental health and seek professional help if you experience symptoms of anxiety, depression, or burnout.

By implementing these strategies and prioritizing your own well-being while caring for your aging parent, you can prevent burnout, maintain balance, and provide the best possible care for your loved one. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential for effective caregiving and overall well-being.

🩷Coach Wendy

#BurnoutPrevention #SelfCare #AgingParents #Wellness #MentalHealth #Support #FamilyCaregiver #HealthyLiving #StressManagement #EmotionalWellbeing #CaregiverSupport #Mindfulness #Balance #SelfCareSunday #PreventBurnout #CaringForLovedOnes #HealthyHabits #TimeManagement #Boundaries