Slow is steady. Steady is smooth. Smooth is fast. Fast is deadly. That hit. I’d heard one of my mentor coaches say this so often – Slow is steady. Steady is smooth. Smooth is fast. But she left out the last sentence. Fast is deadly.
When I googled this phrase that last sentence, Fast is deadly, popped up.
So today, I want to discuss an essential topic that often gets overlooked: the importance of putting yourself first as a caregiver. While caring for others can be a noble and fulfilling role, it is also very demanding. That’s why it’s crucial to remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup and as a result, you may find yourself in fight, flight & freeze.
What is Fight, Flight & Freeze and how it affects you:
Fight, Flight and Freeze are what shows up when your executive function has shut off. As a result of being in the state of fight, flight and freeze you may be experiencing symptoms including frustration, guilt, resentment, excessive fatigue and anxiety. You may be isolating yourself. Your relationships with family and friends may be suffering. You feel like you have no time to invest in anyone but the person who needs care. Your loved ones are saying to you, ‘You look exhausted’ or ‘I’m worried about you.’
The remedy to all of these symptoms of being in fight, flight & freeze is self-care.
Seven compelling reasons why I invite you to consider that self-care should be a priority for you:
Prevent Burnout: Caregiving can be emotionally and physically draining. Prioritizing your well-being helps prevent burnout, so that you can provide the best care possible. For them and for you.
Enhance Your Health: When you take care of yourself, you reduce stress and lower the risk of health issues. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep contribute to your overall health, so that you can work in your executive functioning brain, which makes making decisions and moving forward easier.
Improve Emotional Resilience: By focusing on your mental health, you build emotional resilience. This means you’re better equipped to handle the challenges that come with caregiving, so that you can better preserve your sanity.
Model Healthy Behavior: When you prioritize self-care, you set an example for those you care for. It teaches them the importance of self-love and encourages them to take care of their own needs to whatever degree they are able.
Increase Productivity: Taking breaks and focusing on your own needs can boost your productivity. You’ll find that you can accomplish more when you’re well-rested and mentally refreshed.
Strengthen Relationships: When you care for yourself, you’re in a better emotional state to connect with others. This can strengthen your relationships with both the person you care for as well as your friends, family and spouse or partner.
Rediscover Joy: Engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment can reignite your passion for life. When you’re happy and fulfilled, you can share that positivity with others. What you focus on grows. Focusing on gratitude brings with it more to be joyful for.
Putting yourself first isn’t selfish; it’s a necessary step to ensure you can provide the best care possible – for them and for you. Remember, you are just as important as those you care for.
In love & light,
Coach Wendy
P.S. Are you experiencing symptoms including anger, frustration, guilt, loneliness, resentment or sadness? You may be a caregiving martyr and as a result, you may be at greater risk of dying of a stress related illness. Take my quiz to find out!