Are you someone who is so overwhelmed with work, aging parents and children that you don’t take time for yourself?    Are you screaming YES to me?

This brings up a question that I get all of the time:

1. Why does it seem so impossible at times?

Well first, as women, we have been conditioned by the patriarchy (F that!) to prioritize the needs of others before our own.  We know this is absolute rubbish and we are fighting back – again.

Then we have the pressure we impose on ourselves.  Do you ever notice yourself saying, “I’m fine” or “I’ve got this”.   We think we can add one more thing to our already overloaded plate and then before you know it, your shrimp slips off to the floor.  And you really like shrimp. (Thank you Elaine for that analogy!)

The feeling of it being impossible shows up as a result of:

• Overcommitment: Taking on too many responsibilities can leave little room for self-care.   (Full plate, shrimp on floor)
• Guilt: Many of us feel guilty for wanting time for ourselves, believing it’s selfish to step away.  (F that!)
• Lack of Support: By not saying, “I need help.  Go do _________” it leads to all of these responsibilities piling up on YOU.

So you step out of that scenario and you decide to treat yourself to some aspect of self care.  Only to have this question show up:

2. Why does it seem like when I make a new commitment to self-care, it gets sabotaged?

First, I’m going to let you in on a little secret.  When you decide to prioritize yourself and self-care, it’s common to encounter setbacks. Here are some reasons why your commitment to putting yourself first gets sabotaged:

• Unexpected Responsibilities: Life is unpredictable, and new obligations are constantly popping up with no warning, pushing self-care to the back burner.
• Internal Resistance: Sometimes, the desire to care for others can overshadow personal needs, leading to self-sabotage.
• Plain old Sabotage: When you make a change, those around you see that as a threat.  As a threat, they will do whatever they can (sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally) to go back to the way things used to be so that it is comfortable for them. 

There is good news though!  While the setbacks are real, there are effective strategies to help you reclaim your time and power:

1. Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries with family members. Communicate your needs and the importance of self-care to those you support. This might mean designating specific times for personal activities or saying no to additional commitments that don’t serve your well-being.

2. Prioritize Self-Care

Make self-care non-negotiable. Schedule it into your calendar just like any other important commitment. This could be as simple as taking a daily walk, practicing mindfulness, or doing something that brings you joy.  Do you remember joy?

3. Create a Support Network

Surround yourself with friends, family, or support groups who understand and are in a similar situation. Sharing experiences and resources can lighten the load and provide encouragement.

4. Practice Mindfulness

Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or journaling can help center your thoughts and reduce stress, making it easier to focus on your needs.

➡️ To get started, Download Your FREE 8 Days of Journaling Prompts for Peace of Mind here.⬅️

5. Celebrate Small Wins

Acknowledge and celebrate small victories in your journey toward balance. Whether it’s a successful day of self-care or a moment of relaxation, recognizing these achievements can motivate you to continue prioritizing your well-being.

Here’s the thing.  Finding balance is undeniably challenging, AND it is not impossible. Now that you understand what might get in your way  and begin implementing simple strategies, you canreclaim your time and nurture yourself.

Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.

In love & light,  

P.S.  Share this on to a friend who needs support ➡️🩷