Let’s face it, ladies: for many of us juggling the demands of our loved ones, the real struggle is the weight of overwhelming expectations—especially those pesky ones we place on ourselves. Can you relate? Do you ever find yourself in a never-ending cycle of giving, where your own needs are about as prioritized as that gym membership you forgot about? Until suddenly you feel unworthy and then next thing you know, you find yourself teetering on the edge of burnout? By that time, self-care becomes about as elusive as a unicorn.

Why Does It Feel Impossible?

When you’re in survival mode, every day can feel like a high-stakes game of Whac-A-Mole. You’re balancing the emotional needs of your spouse or partner. You may also be caring for aging parents, managing your own family, and somehow trying to keep your professional commitments afloat. It’s like being a circus performer, but without the applause. The absolute feeling of impossibility shows up when you finally decide to prioritize your well-being. In fact do you notice that it often feels like an uphill battle—like trying to climb Mount Everest in flip-flops? (prepare for the face plant) Do you wonder why your self-care plans keep getting derailed or why it feels like an Olympic event to expect even a little reciprocity from those you support?

The Quick Solution: Shift Your Mindset

What if I told you that the first step toward reclaiming your sense of worth and well-being is to shift your mindset? Spoiler alert: your needs are just as valid as everyone else’s. You deserve care, compassion, and a little “me time”—preferably with a side of chocolate.

So how do you shift your mindset so that you can put your needs first? Here’s the cheat sheet:

1. Set Realistic Expectations: Newsflash: you can’t change how others behave, but you can control your responses. It’s perfectly okay, more than okay, to ask for what you need and to feel a tad miffed when those needs aren’t met. This acknowledgment is your first step towards setting healthier boundaries.
2. Prioritize Self-Care as Non-Negotiable: Think of self-care as your secret weapon, not a guilty pleasure. Just like you wouldn’t skip a crucial work meeting (unless you’re really good at faking a cough), don’t skip your exercise or downtime. Your sanity depends on it!
3. Practice Mindfulness: Focus on your own feelings instead of absorbing the stress of those around you like a human sponge. Grounding yourself in the present helps you manage overwhelming emotions and make clearer decisions—like whether to enjoy just a few more minutes of an episode of the Gilmore Girls (spoiler: yes).
4. Celebrate Small Wins: Celebrate yourself for even the tiniest steps toward self-care. Whether it’s going to bed earlier or stealing a moment to breathe, every little action counts. Go YOU!

Can you see how shifting your focus from the expectations of others to your own needs, creating a more balanced life, is possible? I invite you to embrace your worthiness, let self-care be a priority, and remember: you truly deserve it—preferably with a side of sass! Definitely with a side of sass.

In love & light,